Zoe’s Journal

Zoe’s Journal
Ideas are elusive, slippery things. Best to keep a pad of
paper and a pencil at your bedside, so you can stab them
during the night before they get away.
    - Earl Nightingale, 1921 - 1989

The Great Conundrum

February 24th, 2006

Religion is often dismissed as the need of people to worship something, anything. People worship the sun, the earth, ‘higher deities’, and even cows. Some people reverence humans as the closest thing to divine examples of perfection. It goes without saying that people need to have something to measure themselves against. The question is, Why?

Why do people feel the need to worship anything?

Why do people feel like this life is not enough and that there has to be an ‘afterlife’?  

What if there really IS a higher deity that all of the religions sprang from?  

The Lord of the Realm is of the opinion that religion was formed as way to control society - at first with common sense laws such as ‘do not sleep with your mother’ and ‘do not hurt other human beings’ - then evolved into something much more complex as people began to rely upon the religion. I honestly don’t know what to think about that train of thought.

Religion is evident in every distant country, tribe, and continent in this world. How did so many people come up with the same way to control society???

I think that there had to be some kind of event - we’ll say the Great Flood for example - that caught the attention of people everywhere and convinced them that something intelligent was ruling the world - something that they needed  to pay tribute to in order to stay in favor.

Now, about that Flood. From China, to Greece, to Africa, to Central America - all of their mythology includes that event. In every one of their old stories, there was a man who escaped on a boat with his wife and some animals. I did research on this because I found it so fascinating. In every story the plot was different but the result was the same - the world was covered with water and one man built a boat (or clambered into a barrel) with his wife and some animals. After the ‘gods relented’ and the water receded, that man survived and started to repopulate the world.

I wonder if religion started with him worshipping the boat because it had saved him, or (in christianity’s case) the rainbow because he had never seen one before. In any case, the original question remains - Why did he feel the need to Worship anything?  Is it because he simply did not understand it? If we take the rainbow for example - how could primitive man understand that the result of sunlight shining through a sheet of water produces a myriad of colors? He could not. Science was not developed thus far. So what does he do? He is in awe of it. Maybe he thinks that something is trying to send a message to him. (If science had been developed, he may have thought that aliens were signaling him.)

So, to put an answer to Why Men Feel the Need to Worship, it could simply be that men worship things and occurrences that they don’t understand. But why worship? Why not simply ignore? Is this an evolutionary instinct for survival - to know what is chasing you so that you can know how to avoid it? Perhaps that is why humans feel the need to ‘appease the gods’ - so that they are not stricken down where they stand. Perhaps they feel like ‘god’ is ever watching them like a tiger from a forest thicket, and if you don’t feed it enough of what it wants (meat or subservience) it will kill you.

I’m afraid that this is as close to solving the conundrum as I am willing to venture at this moment.

~A Landmark Fifty~

February 23rd, 2006

You heard right - Zoe’s Fantasy has reached it’s 50th comment. Many thanks, Existence, who wrote the 50th, and to Ashley, who came up with the majority of the rest. :)

Any suggestions on how to publicize the site once I get more book reviews done?

Tomorrow is casual Friday, whupee.

I caught my cousin online last night… twas good to talk - it’s been about 3 months or so. I’ve been feeling kind of guilty lately about leaving my family in North Carolina. Without a doubt, it was the best thing to do for myself. But now I’m hearing that things have basically gone to shit there.

My older sister and her husband have been jobless for three months now… and they have a 1-year old boy, with no money to put him in daycare even to look to jobs. No money for internet, so they can’t look for jobs that way. Besides, North Carolina, though it is reputed for lots of jobs, only has lots of jobs of the lowest quality, and those are all taken by the illegal immigrants who are overruning the state. So they are having an extremely rough time of it.

My mother and the twins… I already went on the rampage about the betrothal to Elvis. The girls (poor things) are stuck with her until she kicks them out, which, if it goes anything like her first two girls, will be when they are seventeen. She only works part-time, and she just started that job after all her money from the divorce ran out. Of course, she didn’t have to buy such a nice house and car right after the fact, but that’s besides the point.  So now the girls are stuck with hand-me-down clothes and toys, and an emphatically religious mother. I try to send them new trendy clothes for their birthdays and Christmas. Either that or money. The last cash I sent them, though, had to be used for food. Gah.

I don’t know… I just get really depressed when I start thinking about the situation over there. A part of me wants to say “Hey, everyone, move out here! There are lots of open jobs and better-paying opportunities!” The climate is awesome as well. But that is before the other part of me remembers Why I moved out here in the first place.

My dad is having a rough time too. If not financially, then emotionally. Last summer, he shipped his illegal 22-year old girl-friend immigrant and their son back to Mexico, and he tried to hook up with some ‘nice girl’ from his new job. That, I assume, didn’t work out too well, since he is considering bringing Rosa back up - this time legally. “I miss her food.” Damn right. I know he didn’t miss her - everytime I went to see him, he was complaining about her.  That’s what happens when you get a girl half your age pregnant with your child, Daddy. Can we say mid-life crisis?

Not to mention, he still wants my mom back. At least, he wants the stability of a marriage back.

The fact of all this has been irritated a few times lately; I guess that’s why I’m venting here. I called my mother when she got engaged to Elvis, and I talked to the twins. Heather seemed very depressed - a 10-yeard old is NOT supposed to be depressed - and Valerie seemed even more down, and when I told her that for the Lord of the Realm’s and my wedding, that we were going  to fly the family to the Bahamas, she asked, “Are you rich? That’s going to be really expensive.” WHAT? No, no no no. A 10-year old is not supposed to be financially aware on the large of a scale, especially not with depression. I know things are rough with them, but come on - let children be children, and don’t weigh them down with your burdens.

So yes. I vented. And No. I don’t feel that much better if you were wondering. So I think I’m going to go play my little heart out in Zuma-Land.

I Really Don’t Understand.

February 21st, 2006

The Lord of the Realm has held me to my sworn oath to never engage in Online Gaming such as World of Warcraft, Final Fantasy Online, or Everquest. He insists (thruthfully enough) that I would become Lost to Him and live in a fantasy world thereafter.

I have faithfully complied.

He, however, is currently in the midst of an ugly gun-shooting, horror game with people from South Carolina, of all places. He even has the dorky headpiece on. Is this discrimination?

I merely wish to play my beautifully rendered fantasy worlds with soothing music and sexy characters.

Is this so bad?

GAH

What Really Makes People Happy?

February 20th, 2006

Is it their surroundings? Their hobbies? Achievement? Luck? ….Raindrops on Roses? Whiskers on Kittens? Bright colored packages tied up with… yeah, sorry. You get my drift though.

I’ve been wondering what it all really is, or if someone just made up the idea.

I don’t really feel happy because of my surroundings. I might be aesthetically pleased, sure. But can scenery really create happiness?

My hobbies do not make me happy. I like playing video games, yes. They fill up my time with activity and give me ferocious brain-pounding headaches. Is it really activity? One can argue that point and say that the player is just sitting on their butt, twiddling their thumbs. (Hey, it involves the whole hand, okay?) *excuse my rabbit trail* The point is, hobbies don’t make happiness. If one of your hobbies is actually doing worthwhile activites, or making, say, miniatures, then isn’t that feeling you get when completing a project happiness?

No, it’s the sense of achievement. Some people insist that the sense of achievment, of finishing something worthwhile, really does make them happy. Maybe. I know that I get a ‘high’ whenever all of my chores are done, and the To-Do list is all crossed out. I can’t decide if that constitutes true happiness though.

What, after all, is happiness? My theory is that it’s simply a mindset - a plethora of various feelings (ie: achievement, success) all tied into one another. If that is the case, then one can be happy whatever the circumstance.

I have seen happy people that had almost nothing to be cheerful about. It was almost scary. It made me wonder if maybe they weren’t a little bit crazy. They might actually have been - but they didn’t know it, so they were happy. On that note, it seems that a lot of certifiably loony people are happy, or act that way. They don’t care if people stare at them. They don’t even notice. They are content to simply exclaim (loudly) that , ‘Isn’t that such a PRETTY flower!’ and promptly forget that they said it, only to notice it once more, and repeat the exclamation. The joy of life is ever new for them.

So is this all to say that happy people are messed up in the head? No. Are you? See there.

I don’t really know what I am trying to say. I just don’t think I believe that there is a singular feeling called ‘happiness’. You can have a ‘happy-sad’ or a ’sad-happy’. You can have a ‘tired-but-happy’ (sense of accomplishment) or a ‘happy-giddy-happy’. How can one word combine all of these? Impossible.

In order to communicate effectively, however, the word has come into play. For example, when the Lord of the Realm tells me how ‘happy I am to be with you’, that makes me ‘happy’. When the workweek is over and I have a long weekend to look forward to I am ‘happy’ about that.

Maybe being ‘happy’ means that you are eagerly anticipating something in the near future. I look forward to long weekends… I look forward to life with the LotR. When I think about these things I become ‘happy’. And if you think about it, it would be rather hard to be ‘happy’ about hobbies if you knew that they next day they would be non-existent, or to be ‘happy’ about the weekend if you knew that something unwanted was going to happen during said weekend.

I don’t know if any of this made sense. If it did, well then, Good! If not, reread it or leave it.

Kameo Pictures

February 20th, 2006

Well, everyone. May I present the latest addition to the family?

 Meet Kameo.
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Kameo meets Ico and Poopie.
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Ah. Tis wonderful to have a family.
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