Zoe’s Journal

So, I got this in an email today. I nearly bashed my head into pieces on my desk.

A friend sent this to me. It’s been said that God first separated the salt water from the fresh, made dry land, planted a garden,
made animals and fish… all before making a human. He made and provided what we’d need before we were born. These are best & more powerful when eaten raw. We’re such slow learners… (inDEED you are)

*God left us a great clue as to what foods help what part of our body!*
*God’s Pharmacy! Amazing!*
*A sliced _Carrot_ looks like the human eye. The pupil, iris and radiating lines look just like the human eye… and YES, science now shows carrots greatly enhance blood flow to and function of the eyes.* (funny how they need science to verify it… and is it even true?)
*A _Tomato_ has four chambers and is red. The heart has four chambers and is red (um no, it’s BLUE until it hits oxygenated air). All of the research shows (research again? I thought the bible was enough for you?) **tomatoes are loaded with lycopine and are indeed pure heart and blood food.*
*_Grapes _**hang in a cluster that has the shape of the heart. Each grape looks like a blood cell (grapes look like cells? wow, that’s not what my biology book photos look like) and all of the research (science is obviously needed to validify what you want to think) today shows grapes are also profound heart and blood vitalizing food.*
*A _Walnut_ looks like a little brain, a left and right hemisphere, upper cerebrums and lower cerebellums. Even the wrinkles or folds on the nut are just like the neo-cortex. We now know walnuts help develop more than three (3) dozen neuron-transmitters for brain function.* (interesting - I should look this up)
_Kidney Beans_ actually heal and help maintain kidney function and yes, they look exactly like the human kidneys. (*cough* BULLSHIT *cough*
***_Celery, Bok Choy, Rhubarb_** and many more look just like bones (HAHAHAHA). These foods specifically target bone strength. Bones are 23% sodium and these foods are 23% sodium. If you don’t have enough sodium in your diet, the body pulls it from the bones, thus making them weak. These foods replenish the skeletal needs of the body.* (hmm. again, interesting, but FALSE)
*_Avocadoes, Eggplant and Pears_** target the health and function of the womb and cervix of the female - they look just like these organs. Today’s research shows that when a woman eats one avocado a week, it balances hormones, sheds unwanted birth weight, and prevents cervical cancers. And how profound is this? It takes exactly nine (9) months to grow an avocado from blossom to ripened fruit. (ROLLS EYES)

There are over 14,000 photolytic chemical constituents of nutrition in each one of these foods (modern science has only studied and named about 141 of them).*

_Figs_ are full of seeds and hang in twos when they grow (is this a reference to testicles?! XO). Figs increase the mobility of male sperm and increase the numbers of Sperm as well to overcome male sterility.
_Sweet Potatoes _look like the pancreas and actually balance the glycemic index of diabetics. (sweet potatoes are all types of shapes, genius)
Olives _assist the health and function of the ovaries (proof? come on, give it up)
*_Oranges, Grapefruit, and other citrus fruits look just like the mammary glands of the female and actually assist the health of the breasts and the movement of lymph in and out of the breasts. (:O)
_Onions _look like the body’s cells. Today’s research shows onions help clear waste materials from all of the body cells. They even produce tears which wash the epithelial layers of the eyes. A working companion, _Garlic_, also helps eliminate waste materials and dangerous free radicals from the body. (Onions? Look like cells? yeah… totallllllly….)

*SUBJECT: Psalm 46:19
‘Be Still and Know that I AM GOD’*

****HEAD EXPLODES****

(got a veggie to fix my head?)

Honestly, I can not BELIEVE the shit that people believe. I mean, how anyone even look at this spammer-spawned email and take it for face value? CRITICAL THINKING! Where has it gone? To quote C.S. Lewis.. “Don’t they teach LOGIC in these schools anymore?“

The story? Here.

We’ve now got a real-life wizard on our hands, according to school officials in Tampa Bay.

Apparently a substitute teacher was accused of real-life wizardry after performing a magic trick involving the vanishing of a toothpick.

“I get a call the middle of the day from head of supervisor of substitute teachers. He says, ‘Jim, we have a huge issue, you can’t take any more assignments you need to come in right away,’” he said.

When Piculas went in, he learned his little magic trick cast a spell and went much farther than he’d hoped.

“I said, ‘Well Pat, can you explain this to me?’ ‘You’ve been accused of wizardry,’ [he said]. Wizardry?” he asked.

Wizardry?!

Come on, folks.

ENTIRE STORY

In Other News, people try PRAYER to bring down gas prices.

Look what he got me!

And it’s RED! How awesome is that? And the top of it is FUZZY like very fine suede or leather with the rest of it being stainless steel and shiny black plastic. Now I’m all busy syncing it up to my desktop… Only 4 hours and 16 minutes remaining for my music transfers.

And then I’ll pick out some photos… well, maybe tomorrow.

Now, this isn’t my Valentine’s present, but rather an early birthday gift. He’s got something else up his sleeve for St. Valentine’s Day. And, I must say… so do I

**ZoeJane goes to fiddle with her new toy**

I laughed my ass off at this letter to the editor - comments below it echoed the main sentiment of the readers on the site I found it, as noted in my post title.

… and just to be nice and tell the truth, yes, the letter is a hoax. Here is what the newspaper had to say about it

Enjoy