Zoe’s Journal

You heard right - Zoe’s Fantasy has reached it’s 50th comment. Many thanks, Existence, who wrote the 50th, and to Ashley, who came up with the majority of the rest.

Any suggestions on how to publicize the site once I get more book reviews done?

Tomorrow is casual Friday, whupee.

I caught my cousin online last night… twas good to talk - it’s been about 3 months or so. I’ve been feeling kind of guilty lately about leaving my family in North Carolina. Without a doubt, it was the best thing to do for myself. But now I’m hearing that things have basically gone to shit there.

My older sister and her husband have been jobless for three months now… and they have a 1-year old boy, with no money to put him in daycare even to look to jobs. No money for internet, so they can’t look for jobs that way. Besides, North Carolina, though it is reputed for lots of jobs, only has lots of jobs of the lowest quality, and those are all taken by the illegal immigrants who are overruning the state. So they are having an extremely rough time of it.

My mother and the twins… I already went on the rampage about the betrothal to Elvis. The girls (poor things) are stuck with her until she kicks them out, which, if it goes anything like her first two girls, will be when they are seventeen. She only works part-time, and she just started that job after all her money from the divorce ran out. Of course, she didn’t have to buy such a nice house and car right after the fact, but that’s besides the point.  So now the girls are stuck with hand-me-down clothes and toys, and an emphatically religious mother. I try to send them new trendy clothes for their birthdays and Christmas. Either that or money. The last cash I sent them, though, had to be used for food. Gah.

I don’t know… I just get really depressed when I start thinking about the situation over there. A part of me wants to say “Hey, everyone, move out here! There are lots of open jobs and better-paying opportunities!” The climate is awesome as well. But that is before the other part of me remembers Why I moved out here in the first place.

My dad is having a rough time too. If not financially, then emotionally. Last summer, he shipped his illegal 22-year old girl-friend immigrant and their son back to Mexico, and he tried to hook up with some ‘nice girl’ from his new job. That, I assume, didn’t work out too well, since he is considering bringing Rosa back up - this time legally. “I miss her food.” Damn right. I know he didn’t miss her - everytime I went to see him, he was complaining about her.  That’s what happens when you get a girl half your age pregnant with your child, Daddy. Can we say mid-life crisis?

Not to mention, he still wants my mom back. At least, he wants the stability of a marriage back.

The fact of all this has been irritated a few times lately; I guess that’s why I’m venting here. I called my mother when she got engaged to Elvis, and I talked to the twins. Heather seemed very depressed - a 10-yeard old is NOT supposed to be depressed - and Valerie seemed even more down, and when I told her that for the Lord of the Realm’s and my wedding, that we were going  to fly the family to the Bahamas, she asked, “Are you rich? That’s going to be really expensive.” WHAT? No, no no no. A 10-year old is not supposed to be financially aware on the large of a scale, especially not with depression. I know things are rough with them, but come on - let children be children, and don’t weigh them down with your burdens.

So yes. I vented. And No. I don’t feel that much better if you were wondering. So I think I’m going to go play my little heart out in Zuma-Land.